June 14, 2007

Young immigrants who arrive at Jerusalem's Ulpan "Etzion" don't know that they are falling into a well laid trap. The ulpan, which only admits singles aged 20 to 35, is a serial producer of couples, and in the Jewish Agency they already refer to it as the "matchmaking ulpan". "There is no doubt that this aids absorption in Israel", says Aurelia Amsalem, an immigrant from France, who is about to marry Rudy, whom she met at the ulpan

By Efrat Zemer  

In two months, on August 15, Aurelia Amsalem and Rudy Yayoun will march to the bridal canopy. In honor of the wedding, both of their families will arrive in Israel: the Amsalem family from Lyon and the Yayoun family from Paris. Aurelia and Rudy are excited. They've been in Israel for a total of year and a half, both emigrated from France on their own, to face an uncertain future. They met for the very first time at Ulpan "Etzion" in Jerusalem, and a month later a love story developed between them.

"We didn't know each other at all in France, but at first you go out with people who speak your language, and then we became a group of French speakers", relates Amsalem. "After month at the ulpan there was a birthday party for some friends and it began there. We finished the ulpan and then moved out to live separately, each of us with different flat mates. It was difficult and after a few months we moved again so we could live together in Jerusalem. We don't want to move from Jerusalem. We are both Zionists and we both wanted to move to Israel, and to Jerusalem in particular.

"When I arrived in Israel I didn't think of being a couple, but everything is decided from above and so it happened that in the year I immigrated, I found my husband in the end result. There is no doubt that this facilitates absorption. It's much easier for us to be together. Alone I'm not sure that life would've been easier".

"It Is Easier"

Rudy and Aurelia are not an isolated case. Ulpan "Etzion" which opened back in 1949 and boasts as one of most famous alumni is the late satirist Ephraim Kishon, produces quite a few immigrant couples. In the Jewish agency they refer to this ulpan as the "matchmaking ulpan" this can be explained by the ulpan's deliberate policy of taking in unmarrieds aged 20 to 35. At the Jewish Agency they say that this point precisely is an underlying motive behind this decision: to encourage the young immigrants to build their nests in Israel. For the time being the policy is succeeding.

Take for example Lucas Leiderman (24) and Jessica Landis (25), both immigrated from Brazil, for purely Zionist reasons. Recently the energetic couple is primarily engaged in preparations for leaving the warm nest of the ulpan for a shared rented apartment in Jerusalem's Katamon neighborhood. At the same time they are expectantly waiting for answers from the Hebrew University, where they both hope to complete an M.A. in education.

Lucas and Jessica knew each other already in a Zionist youth movement in Brazil, but only under the roof of Ulpan "Etzion" did this casual acquaintanceship mature into a torrid romance. "We were friends but nothing more than that", announces Lucas. "I had a girlfriend, and Jessica went out with my friend. I think she fell in love with me already then". Jessica for her part is quick to deny this.

Both immigrated at the same period and settled in at Ulpan "Etzion". As luck would have it, Lucas's roommate and Jessica's roommate made a pair, and a short time later so did Lucas and Jessica (Lucas: "they wanted the room for themselves so I told Jessica 'if you are already in my room then come in'"). They found themselves together, in warm Brazilian conjugality, spiced a bit by the halting but flowing Hebrew.

"To be together is easier", they explain. "We don't have family here, so it's much easier to undergo the absorption process together. We didn't come here just for the experience. This is life this is serious. Part of what unites us is the ideology of education and Zionism".

Lucas says that's "We are precisely at the difficult stage of absorption and we need someone for support, and it's much easier when it's someone that understands what you're experiencing. I know that Jessica understands what I am feeling".

Jessica relates that she went out in the past with an Israeli boy. "I met him in Brazil, he was on a post military service tour, and I visited him here as well, but it is hard to be with an Israeli", she says. "The culture is very different. For me the Israelis are cold, definitely in comparison with the Brazilians".

During their last days at the ulpan the two are taking advantage of every minute to watch television with a dictionary at their side, to do their Hebrew homework lessons, and during the evening to spend time with their friends at the ulpan at the best local pubs. They realize that they are about to separate from the embracing routine of the ulpan and are going out into the real world. There they will have to study, pay rent and share dreams for the future "We've already agreed upon having a lot of children, but first we have to study and work", they say.

Captions: Jessica Landis an immigrant from Brazil who met her partner Lucas at the ulpan: "I went out previously with an Israeli boy. I met him in Brazil, he was on a post military service tour, and I also visited him here, but it's hard to be with an Israeli. The culture is very different. In my estimation the Israelis are cold, definitely in comparison with the Brazilians"

Joel Shapiro, an immigrant from South Africa who met his wife Joni in the ulpan: "I believe that in the ulpan there is something in the air. These are people in the same phase of their lives and with a similar dream- to be in Israel. When I lived in South Africa I would not go out with girls who did not want to live in Israel, I didn't want to put down roots there"

"There is Something in the Air"

Every study cycle at Ulpan "Etzion", in the Bakaa neighborhood, lasts five months. "The immigrants who arrived here experience an intensive period of aliyah and creating a new infrastructure. They put behind them family and friends. They begin their absorption in Israel together, and during five months of ulpan they bond and have formed friendships for life. I call this 'basic training'", says the director of the ulpan, Anat Uzzan.

The former director of the ulpan, Shlomit Pilzer, speaks of the many couples who left the ulpan. "Some of the immigrants arrived in Israel after partnership crises that prompted them to seek to begin everything afresh, and they understand that here they have a better chance of finding it, especially if they want to find a Jewish partner. Some people emigrate for this very purpose and from an ulterior motive they arrived at the proper reason. This is definitely legitimate", she says. In our opinion "one must remember that people who move to Israel during their 20s already have a degree, they're in a different world than Israelis in their age group. Israeli society likes aliyah and likes the olim a bit less. So when the olim get to the ulpan it's much easier for them to find someone in their situation. Their society is a society of olim and this is how acquaintanceships are formed. The hothouse effect is important".

Joel Shapiro (29), a anesthesiologist at the Shaarei Tzedek Hospital in Jerusalem who studied at Ulpan "Etzion" tso years ago, agrees with this. Joel emigrated from South Africa, and met his wife Joni Benjamin (26) who emigrated from England at the ulpan. "There were many couples in our cycle", he says. "It made life in Israel easier". In his opinion, aside from Hebrew studies the immigrants undergo at ulpan an inclusive preparation for life in Israel, so that when they leave the ulpan they can contend with the Israeli bureaucracy and local difficulties. "In this way at least I didn't have to worry about finding a wife on the outside", he jokes, and adds: "I believe that there is something in the air at the ulpan. These are people at the very same stage in their lives and with a similar dream - to be in Israel. When I was in South Africa I wouldn't go out with girls who did not want to live in Israel, I didn't want to put down roots there".

By the way, his wife Joni as well was not certain she wanted to live in Israel. At the end of the ulpan, She returned to England, but the romance between the two did not wane, and after a few months Joni returned to Israel. The two married last January and they live in the Nahlaot neighborhood in Jerusalem. "Joni's happy today that she's in Israel. She always wanted to be there, but she lacked motivation. In the end we understood that despite everything we have to be together", says Joel.

My Story

When Dad Met Mom

The romantic story of Ulpan "Etzion" did not begin in recent years. You can say that without Ulpan "Etzion", the author of this article would not have been around.

In July 1976, Morton Zuserman, a new and lonely immigrant from the United States arrives at Ulpan "Etzion". Rutti, a worker at the ulpan, quickly became for him more than just a worker, and provided him with direct and accelerated absorption. Today Motti and Ruthi Zemer, whom I refer to as mom and dad, have celebrated their thirtieth wedding anniversary which they began at the ulpan and are continuing onwards to this very day at the community Ofra with five children and four grandchildren.

"Between the students there were always close relations, first of all because of their basic situation: all were alone in Israel and constituted a family for each other", analyzes momma Zemer, who for a number of years worked at the Jewish Agency and at Ulpan "Etzion" itself. "Also the crowded accommodation conditions produced a situation where there were no secrets and there was intimacy. Quite naturally there was a powerful feeling of kinship at the location, which by definition is earmarked for young people. A social network is created that also provides romantic nuances".

The veteran immigrant also recalls the warm kinship that prevailed. "There were definitely loads of parties. The boys were on the third floor of the building and the girls on the second floor, but there were many occasions when they found the boys in the morning on the second floor. I didn't have a girlfriend on the second floor but in the offices", poppa Zemer nostalgically recalls. "I arrived at the ulpan as a bachelor aged 22, and quite naturally wanted to find a girl and get married. I knew that I was about to meet people from all over the world, but I never thought that I would already find love at the ulpan".