The following is a generalized description of the ritual; by the nature of things there are slight differences from place to place, from rabbi to rabbi and from community to community.

Signing of the Ketubah

The first stage of the ritual, generally performed before the wedding, is the signing of the ketubah. This stage takes about a quarter of an hour and is done around a table at the edge of the reception area. Seated around the table are the groom, the officiating rabbi, the two witnesses and at times also the fathers, grandfathers and additional guests. Women are not restricted from sitting at the table if they so desire. The rabbi reviews the ketubah with the groom, fills in missing details such as the precise names, location and timing, and has the witnesses sign (and usually the groom as well). Before the signing the rabbi gives the groom a handkerchief; the groom holds it in his right hand, lifts it and returns it to the rabbi. This symbolic gesture, called kinyan sudar ’purchase through a shawl‘ concretizes the groom’s acceptance of the obligations in the ketubah. While the groom and his entourage are dealing with the ketubah, the bride generally continues receiving the guests.

Escorting the Couple to the Canopy and Covering of the Bride

It is customary that the couple does not proceed alone to the canopy but is escorted by a retinue of friends and well wishers, much like a king to his coronation. Generally the couple does not proceed together but is escorted one after the other: first goes the groom, followed by his friends and guests escorting him with song and dance. On his two sides are his escorts, his own parents or the two fathers (his and hers) symbolizing the sequence of generations and continuity. In the absence of parents, others are given the honor of leading. Some observe the custom of giving the escorts lit candles symbolizing the light and joy they wish the couple. As the groom's retinue proceeds, the bride sits on the bridal throne (generally an armchair bedecked with flowers and soft fabrics) with her escorts at her sides, her parents or the two mothers (at times, holding candlesticks). When the groom reaches the bride, he covers her face with the veil. This custom derives from the Bible, when Rebecca covered herself with a veil when she saw Isaac for the first time:

’She took a veil and covered herself‘
(Genesis 24:65).

The groom and his retinue continue to the canopy and the bride remains seated in her chair. These moments are considered a ’time of grace‘ in which her prayers are received. Hence the custom has developed of placing in the bride's hands notes with the names of people in need of healing or other special requests so that she can petition on their behalf. After the groom has reached the chuppah, the bride makes her way there. Some choose a special melody for the escorting (or even different ones for the groom and bride). Some prefer the music be upbeat while others opt for a subdued tone. The canopy consists of a cloth curtain supported by four rods; it symbolizes the new home being established by the couple. The Ashkenazic custom is to set up the canopy outdoors, under the star-filled open sky, symbolizing abundant blessing and generations of descendants numerous like the stars.

Circling by the Bride

In some Ashkenazic communities, it is customary that the bride, having reached the chuppah, encircles the groom seven times (generally, the mothers of the couple accompany her). These circles symbolize the growing bond between the couple and the hope for redemption represented by the verse ’A woman will circle a man‘ (Jeremiah 31:21). The seven circles are also a reminder of the seven ways in which the bond of betrothal between Israel and God is expressed in Hosea 2:21–22. After completing these circles, the bride stands to the right of the groom.

Consecration (Kiddushin)

The first part of the ceremony is the consecration (kiddushin) at which time the couple obligates themselves to one another. The rabbi begins the ceremony with the blessing of betrothal over a cup of wine:

Blessed are You, Hashem, our God, King of the universe, Who creates the fruit of the vine.

Blessed are You, Hashem, our God, King of the universe, Who has sanctified us with His commandments, and has commanded us regarding forbidden unions; Who forbade betrothed women to us, and permitted women who are married to us through canopy and consecration. Blessed are You, Hashem, Who sanctifies His people Israel through canopy and consecration.

After the couple drinks from the wine, the act of kiddushin is performed by the groom in the presence of two witnesses. He recites the words of consecration and places the ring on her right index finger.

Behold, you are consecrated to me by means of this ring, according to the ritual of Moses and Israel.

Reading of the Ketubah

At this point the officiating rabbi or one of the other guests to whom you have given this honor reads the ketubah. The ketubah may be read in Aramaic or in translation, according to the directive of the officiating rabbi.

Below is one version of a ketubah.

On the _____ day of the week, The ___ day of the month of _________ in the year 57___, according to the count that we count here at ________, behold how the groom ______________ from the family ____________ said to the bride ________ of the family ___________ be my wife according to the laws of Moses and Israel, and I will take care, provide, honor, nourish and tend to you like all Jewish men who provide, honor, nourish and tend to their wives loyally. And I have given you the sum for this marriage, two hundred zuz, that is yours, and your provisions, attire and all that you need to live normally. And Ms ___________ the bride agreed and became his wife. And the dowry that she brought to him from her home, whether silver, gold, jewelry, clothes, or accoutrements, was accepted by __________________ the groom at the value of one hundred pure silver, to which he agreed, and he added on his own accord another one hundred, all together two hundred pure silver. And thus said _____________ the groom, the responsibility of this ketubah, this dowry and this addition I accept upon myself and my inheritors after me, to collect from my best assets that I own under the sky, that I own now or that I will own in the future, property or movables, such that all of them may be held under lean to collect this ketubah, dowry and additional amount, and even the shirt off my back; In my lifetime or after, from today and forever. The responsibility for this ketubah, dowry and additional amount was accepted by ___________ the groom, as seriously as all contracts associated with the daughters of Israel, done in accordance with the decrees of the sages, and not as flawed documents or receipts. And a formal acceptance (Kinyan) was done from __________________the groom, to ___________________ the bride on everything written above with a vessel appropriate for effecting a transfer, and all is clear and straightforward. ____________________________________witness ____________________________________witness

After the reading of the ketubah (or part of it), the reader passes it to the groom who hands it to the bride. At this point, there is room in the ceremony for personal moments of reflection, greetings or mutuality.

The Seven Marriage Blessings

The marriage ceremony concludes with the recitation of the seven blessings. These blessings can be recited by the officiating rabbi or by guests (males above the age of 13) who you honor with their recitation. It is customary to announce the reader of each blessing, for example: ‘For the first and second blessings we honor So-and-so, the grandfather of the bride’ (the first two blessings are customarily given to the same person). The texts of the blessings range from the creation of the world to the creation of man, the ingathering of the exiles and the love of the specific couple, thus establishing an analogy between the Creation and the great new creation, the establishment of a Jewish home:

Blessed are You, Hashem, our God, King of the universe, Who creates the fruit of the vine.

Blessed are You, Hashem, our God, King of the universe, Who has created everything for His glory.

Blessed are You, Hashem, our God, King of the universe, Who fashioned the Man.

Blessed are You, Hashem, our God, King of the universe, Who fashioned the Man in His image, in the image of his likeness and prepared for him – from himself – a building for eternity. Blessed are You, Hashem, Who fashioned the Man.

Bring intense joy and exultation to the barren one through the ingathering of her children amidst her in gladness. Blessed are You, Hashem, Who gladdens Zion through her children.

Gladden the beloved companions as You gladdened Your creature in the Garden of Eden from aforetime. Blessed are You, Hashem, Who gladdens groom and bride.

Blessed are You, Hashem, our God, King of the universe, Who created joy and gladness, groom and bride, mirth, glad song, pleasure, delight, love, brotherhood, peace, and companionship. Hashem, our God, let there soon be heard in the cities of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem the sound of joy and the sound of gladness, the voice of the groom and the voice of the bride, the sound of the grooms’ jubilance from their canopies and of youths from their song-filled feasts. Blessed are You, Hashem, Who gladdens the groom with the bride.

The Breaking of the Glass

According to the traditional custom, the ceremony concludes with the shattering of a glass, generally placed under the foot of the groom. The glass should be well wrapped to avoid injury. Before the breaking, the groom recites the verse recalling Jerusalem:

‘If I forget you, O Jerusalem, let my right hand wither; let my tongue stick to my palate if I cease to think of you, if I do not keep Jerusalem in memory even at my happiest hour’
(Psalms 137:6)

The breaking of the glass is a moment of pause during the celebration and reminds the couple that though the private home is being built, the world still has destruction and evil; hence the celebration is not complete (the verse refers specifically to the destruction of the Temple and Jerusalem). According to Jewish tradition, it is the integration of the celebration and memory that restores balance to the world. This moment in the ceremony is an appropriate time to recall relatives who were unable to join the marriage celebration. In some communities, the breaking of the glass is done before the reading of the ketubah.

A Moment of Intimacy, Yichud

After the ceremony, the couple is led to a private room for yichud (separation). Witnesses ascertain that the couple is indeed alone, and the couple emerges after a few minutes to join the guests. Yichud symbolizes the shared home being established by the couple. This isolation also has the psychological value of giving the couple the opportunity to spend intimate time together before rejoining the celebration. It is customary to leave food in the room for the couple, especially when the couple has fasted on the wedding day.

The Wedding Celebration

The formal ceremony is usually followed by a meal including food, song, dance, speeches and creative programs as you see fit. If you choose to recite Grace after Meals publicly at the end of the meal, you may want to honor someone by asking him to lead. At the end of the Grace, it is customary to repeat the seven blessings said under the canopy though the first blessing is now recited last.

After the Wedding

The Week of the Seven Blessings

During the entire week after the wedding, the groom and bride continue to enjoy a special festive status and it is customary to have special parties and meals in their honor. When the groom and bride are joined at a large meal, there are alterations to the Grace after Meals, and the Seven Blessings are recited.

Issuance of Marriage Certificate

After you rest and recover from the wedding, one of you has to return the copy of the ketubah with the officiating rabbi’s signature to the marriage registrar. Within a few days marriage certificates in two original copies signed by the Chief Rabbi will be printed and sent to you.