It's day 26 to this awful war.

Yesterday while driving my car I got a disturbing phone call from my brother.
My ever so cool brother, the one I usually turn to when I'm in need of comforting words, sounded pretty scared.

"Noam. Tell me - whom do you know is doing MILUIM (= reserved army) now? "
"Everyone" I replayed,  "Why? "

My brother didn't answer . "Why?!" I asked again.
Ohad took a deep breath and told me he heard some soldiers were killed earlier in South Lebanon. The news have yet to have reached the media.
"How many and from what units?" I asked, still pretty cool.

His answer almost made me slam my car right in to the car in front of me.
My hands started shaking, my heart started beating fast.

12 soldiers (only later we would discover the final number had been 15) and the rumors were that all of them were from a specialized reserved unit, that to my horror I knew many friends and family were presumably serving in this unit.
It would be hard for me to even begin to describe the hours after this phone call.
The hectic calls to friends trying to gather information, when not much is yet known.

Driving to my cousins wife house , knowing that I'll have to put a "everything's cool " face in front of her , since my cousin Raz , is supposed to be in this unit. Or is he ? I couldn't ask her of course.

Calling Avishag , one of my closest friends , whom husband is also serving in this unit - and I knew that this morning had entered Lebanon .
For me and my family and friends, this specific horrible ordeal ended well. We are ok. For now.

But for 15 other soldiers, 15 other families - life has ever changed this day.
My worst moment was only the phone call; their worst moment was the knock on the door telling them the most awful news a person could hear.

My city is bombed. My two brothers and two cousins are serving in the army. My mother has not had a night of sleep in days. My dad on the other hand is constantly waiting for SMSs from my brothers telling him they are ok. And I must say I am rather tired. And sad.
And worst of all - pessimistic.

Oh yeah, my best friend had a baby yesterday - that's something good isn't it? : 

Peace.
Noam mastboim
noamast@gmail.com